Quinn's Pub

1001 E. Pike St.
Seattle, Wa. 98122
206.325.7711
http://quinnspubseattle.com/

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. 

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?                                                                                                                                     - Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Cheers romanticized the idea of hanging out at the local pub where everybody knows your name. I don't know, something about a dark dingy place where: boisterous sports fans drink in competitive merriment as they watch "the game" on the big screen; The oversexed, look to bed their next conquest; or depressed sad-sacks try to forget their miserable day through self-medication doesn't appeal to me. What I do know is, getting drunk on cheap booze is nothing without equally cheaply made, and usually fried, food to make you sober. Quinn's takes mediocre pub food and pushes it to another level of deliciousness.

Foie Gras Frites [14]

French fries served with foie gras shavings and drowning in foie gras sauce. It's kinda like going to the movies, buying a tub of popcorn, asking for extra melted butter, and then asking them to shave some butter on top. The foie gras is rich and decadent detracting from the lackluster taste of their french fries. I have no idea if these goose livers were fattened by way of gavage or if they were ethically grown by Eduardo Sousa, but I don't care, it's delicious.

Painted Hills Beef Tartare [11]

Why do we bother cooking meat when it tastes so good bloody and rare. I guess crazy food borne bacteria caused by the gross conditions some cattle are raised in would be one of many deterring factors. Regardless, Quinn's uses 100% grass-fed beef from Painted Hills Ranch in Wheeler County Oregon; ingredients matter when you want something naturally delicious done right. Seasoned with thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper, with the additional fattiness of a quail egg yolk. The beef tartare spread on a rosemary crostini tastes almost like I am eating a really good piece of sushi.  

Wild Boar Sloppy Joe [13]

I would love to remember elementary school lunches being something memorably delicious, but I can't, by any stretch of my expansive imagination, manufacture such a memory. Quinn's Pub transforms the amorphous, oily, saucy, mound of ground mystery meats served on a hamburger bun into something glorious. The wild boar is coarsely ground and mixed with spicy Fresno peppers, rosemary, and thyme. The fried onions add sweetness as-well-as a crunchy texture, unfortunately this makes the sandwich a little dry. I couldn't resist the addition of a fried duck egg to top it all off adding an additional fattiness and countering the dryness added by the fried onions.

Alcohol is not only a form a medication prescribed to forget your troubles and food is not only meant to sober you up after a night of overambitious drinking. Quinn's prides themselves on their craft. Beer, Bourbon Whiskey, and, let's not forget, food. Quinn's reinvents pub fare into something you'd want to enjoy with the lights on -- because, how else could you say "they live their life wrong." Quinn's Pub is definitely a place to get fat.  

Abricott

238 S. Lake Ave.
Pasadena, Ca. 91101
626.796.1613
http://abricott.com/

Exiting on Lake off the 210 you have the option of turning north and gorging yourself on a pastrami burger, pastrami chili cheese fries, and a shake; or heading south, and eating... something-else. Abricott is that wonderful "something-else."

Spicy Pulled Pork Tacos [8]

There's something distinctly L.A. about a taco. The tortilla is best vehicle to serve the perfect bite. Each taco is carefully crafted, piled with generous helpings of thin tender pieces of spicy marinaded pork on top of kimchi and smothered in spicy mayo. Each mouthful of these tacos leaves a delicious burning in your mouth but keeps you craving more. I could eat a hundred of these without regret -- unfortunately only four come per order.

Bahn Mi [8]

The bahn mi is very simple but layered with amazing flavors. Juicy pork belly, lightly pickled slices of cucumbers and shredded carrots, cilantro, and mayonnaise served on a baguette. The pork belly crackles when you bite into it and explodes with flavorful fattiness. The baguette has just enough firmness to give you a crunch as you bite into it but doesn't struggle as you pull away each bite.

Abricott's menu doesn't overwhelm you with too many choices but it does provide a breadth of flavors be it French, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, Italian, or American. Everything is fresh, distinct, and inventive. Abricott may not clog your arteries or have paramedics on speed dial, but it's still an amazing place to get fat.

Mohawk Bend

2141 Sunset Blvd.

Los Angeles, Ca. 90026

213.483.2337

$$($10-$15)

http://mohawk.la/

Gentrification is destroying the cultural stability once held in Silver Lake. Hipsters are running amok; waxing curlicue mustaches, harvesting kale from vertical gardens, and forming competitive shuffle-ball leagues. Not my problem, I couldn't care less about urban potpourri, urban foraging, urban unicycling, or any other activity prefixed with the phrase “urban,” all I care about is overindulging on brilliantly crafted food and drink.

Mohawk Bend is located in Silver Lake next to the American Apparel and Iam8Bit Studio so you can marvel over video game themed art and then buy over priced fluorescent t-shirts before and/or after your delicious meal.

Spanish Stuffed Dates [$9]
Bacon + Medjool Dates + Chorizo

Granted, this appetizer looks like charred hotdog ends fancied-up with toothpicks -– don’t let the presentation fool you. The sugar from the medjool dates form a perfectly caramelized crust with the crispy bacon adding a sweetness to contrast the spicy chorizo packed tightly in each date. 

Whitson Burger [$15]
Ground Beef + Bacon + Short Rib + Cheddar Cheese + Sriracha Aioli + Lettuce + Pickle 

The Whitson Burger is a carnivore’s dream. Medium rare all beef patty, shredded short rib, bacon, and a Sriracha aioli. The burger is stacked and unable to contain itself between two buns. I found it near impossible to get an entire bite of this burger, from bun-to-bun, without being prompted to wipe my face immediately after. This is an entire barbecue in your mouth.

Mohawk Bend features locally sourced ingredients, highlighting their natural flavors and not heavily relying on sauces to make their food taste good. Whether your name badge identifies you as: Gluten Free, Nut Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, Carnivore, Omnivore, Mohawk Bend has something fantastic to help you on your way to getting fat. Cannibals are welcome, just don't eat anyone.   

Boots and Kimo's

151 Hekili St.

Kailua, Hi. 96734

808.263.7929

$$($10-$15)

I am not a fan of Spam. Correction, I was once not a fan of Spam. Then I visited Hawaii. Now, I can imagine myself purchasing a can of processed preserved pork shoulder at the local gas station and cook it up at any time of the day. Boots and Kimo's is a small football obsessed breakfast place in Kailua fully equipped with its own long line to get in. Be forewarned, like most places with a throng of hungry patrons outside their door, they don't care if you didn't hear your name, even if they really didn't call it, if you aren't ready, you go back to the end of the line and do it all over again... also, cash only.

Spam & Cheese Omelette[$10.95]
Eggs + Spam + Haleakala Swiss Cheese 

3 1/2 eggs and, what looks to be, an entire can of Spam. This heavenly mess is something I was debating against ordering; no, not because I have become entirely bored beyond all reason with the Spam and egg combination, but because my gut is now eclipsing my toes. The Spam and cheese omelette is exactly what you would expect, fluffy cheesy eggs enveloping an entire can of salty pan fried chunks of Spam.

Boots and Kimo's serves some delicious homestyle breakfast. Their portions are huge. They are on point with Hawaii's favorite canned cured meat. But, like most breakfast places, there is the line and refusal to take reservations. Boots and Kimo's deserves the line of locals and tourists looking to start the day with twice their daily recommended sodium intake. If you are a health conscious person looking to start your day with a cup of Granola and a brisk 7 mile jog, I wouldn't recommend Boots and Kimo's. If you are looking for a place to Get Fat, this is the place to do it. 

Zippy's

950 Kamokila Blvd.

Kapolei, Hi. 96707

808.674.1773

$($5-$10)

Hawaii has been much too active for me. Lounging on the beach. Relaxing at the beach. Laying on the beach... It's much too exhausting if you ask me. Time to get a small bite to eat before I return to my comatose state.

Spam Musubi [$1.55]
Spam + Rice + Soy Sauce + Nori

How many different ways can Hawaiian's prepare their beloved canned meat, Spam. Spam Sushi, otherwise known as musubis, is a very profane food. A fried piece of Spam sits on a block of rice soaked with residual Spam juices and soy sauce, all wrapped neatly with a strip of nori. Nothing fancy here, in fact, the musubi is served tightly wrapped in plastic wrap and handed to me -- it's a snack, nothing wrong with that.

A musubi is not sushi, it's actually the anti-sushi. Heavy and fried rather than light and fresh. Still, I am ashamed to say, despite my best judgement: "this is delicious."  

Loco Moco [$10.25]
2 Eggs + Hamburger Steak + Rice + Brown Gravy

From one bad decision to the next, here comes the famous Loco Moco. A heaping helping of rice, topped by a hamburger patty, smothered in a thick, sodium enriched, heart stopping, brown gravy, and topped by 2 over-easy eggs. The serving is generous and can easily feed two. The eggs are perfectly fried, crisp around the edges with absolutely runny yolks. The hamburger is well-done but not dry or burnt. My first mouthful is a hot mess of yolk, gravy, egg, hamburger, and rice. Silence. This is not steak and eggs nor is this a re-imagined breakfast burger. At first, I was confused. I was originally given, what looked to be a T.V. dinner microwaved somewhere in the back. Now, I am asking myself: "Why do I like this abomination and why do I want to order another one?"

You don’t leave Zippy’s ready to run a marathon. You leave Zippy’s, ashamed of what you’ve just put your body through. Looking for the nearest bed to crawl into and sleep the shame away, I am glad Zippy’s is only in Hawaii; otherwise, these bad decisions may just occur more frequently leading me to getting fat.

Great Hawaiian Hot Dog Co.

310 Lewers St.

Honolulu, HI. 96805

808.630.1828

$($5-$10)

Downtown Honolulu. It's 3:00 a.m. I am on vacation and am feeling very much like Homer as he journeyed toward obesity. We drive through alleys looking for an open kitchen. No luck.

As a last resort, we decided to follow the trail of cabs hauling drunk college kids back to whence they came. The string of cabs led us to Moose McGillycuddy's, a pub which appeared to be the source of the aforementioned travelers. We were greatly disappointed as we stared at the line of people still waiting to get in... I guess we were that hungry. Luckily, my nose caught the whiff of something familiar... something that reminded me of L.A. To the right of Moose McGillycuddy's stands a small hot dog stand welcoming us with no line in sight.
   

When you wrap a hot dog in bacon, toss it on a grill, then serve with onions, peppers, and your choice of condiments - what have you got? You have yourself  an old fashioned Tijuana Dog, the perfect accompaniment for your drunken cab ride home. The Great Hawaiian is the TJ Dog's island brother, a sirloin dog wrapped in bacon, smothered with garlic sauce, Sriracha, pulled-pork, and a sweet and smokey BBQ sauce.

Now, all drunk foods aren't created equal. Fat Sal's has taught me that. When you're drunk, certain foods can convince you that it's the most perfect food in existence, but it's never what you remembered when you, for some reason, decide to return sober. Sober, I unhinge my jaw and take the first bite. The flavors of garlic, sweet and smokey barbecued pulled-pork, and Sriracha, add to the already delicious combination of bacon and hot dog.

The Great Hawaiian is the perfect late night bad decision. It's not never going to be the "This" in the next volume of "Eat This Not That" but it's a great source of goodness to get fat -- drunk or not.  

Sweet Maple

2101 Sutter St.
San Francisco , Ca. 94115
415.655.9168
$$$($10-$20)
http://www.sweetmaplesf.com/

Breakfast in San Francisco is a war. Every morning. In front of every breakfast place. There is a long line of hungry patrons, standing, waiting to get fed. It's sad. It's truly miserable standing in line waiting to eat at a place that doesn't take reservations. Why don't they take reservations? Because people will stand in line to pay to get fed.

By some miracle and Andrew's professional Mini Coopering we beat the morning rush at Sweet Maple.     

Bulgogi [$14.50]
 Marinated Rib-Eye, Carrots, Spinach, Bell Peppers, Green Onion. Side: Chili Pepper Paste

Omelets are mangled eggs stuffed with veggies, meats, cheese, and a bunch of other deliciousness to try to hide the fact that you have been robbed of the best part of an egg -- the oozing yolk. I never order omelets, it's a murder. Seeing Bulgogi on their omelet menu, I made the exception. For those of you who have not experienced KBBQ (the 2 of you), Bulgogi is Korean-style ribeye, marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, and sugar. Sweet Maple's Bulgogi Omelet functions more like a stir-fry than an omelet, which should not detract you from ordering. The bulgogi is tender and tastes just the way you'd expect -- delicious.

Millionaire's Bacon [$6.75]Thick bacon baked in brown sugar

Millionaire's Bacon. Thick cakey (not crispy) bacon, baked in brown sugar, covered in syrup and red & black pepper. At first bite this seemed like dessert, which is an essential part of any wholesome breakfast, but as the thick cut of bacon melts in your mouth you start to feel the heat from the spices.

Sweet Maple is organic, free-range, cage-free, blah-blah-blah. Most importantly, Sweet maple is fresh and delicious. Whether you order the Bulgogi, Millionaire's Bacon, or Kimchi Benedict, your mouth is going to be filled with massive amounts of Korean flavors. If you live in or are visiting San Francisco, Get Fat at Sweet Maple -- even if you have to wait in line.   

4th Annual L.A. Street Food Fest

Between navigating through traffic, fighting for parking spots, and hurdling over foodies and photographers, getting a bite to eat in the sprawl of LA can get to be a little troublesome. Asking yourself: "What's good around here?" The answer is: "Everything." The LA Street Food Fest returns for a fourth year at The Rose Bowl (Pasadena California), hosting over 100 vendors to feed your incredibly needy palate. As with each year, LA Street Food Fest presents us with a variety of culture through it's food vendors.  

This year's theme was "Taste of Mexico" highlighting LA's best tacos, taquitos, ceviche, and all your taqueria favorites. Casa Oaxaca brings LA a taste of Oaxaca with squash blossom quesadillas topped by spicy jalapeno & huitlacoche mole sauce. Ceviche Project wowed us with their sushi grade Tuna Ceviche with smoked nori, micro greens, and mango chutney. Easily, one of the best tastes of the day was brought to us by Javier Plascencia/ Erizo. His Tijuana Surf & Turf is a mixture of amazingly tender octopus and tripe coupled with cilantro and pickled radish stuffed into a crispity hard shell. Loteria Grill challenged the crowd and invited them to try some more "unconventional" meats.Their Birria taco, piled high with beef tongue, tendon, and tripe, chopped onions, cilantro, radish and a chile puya salsa, garnered my attention -- I am a man who loves the odds-and-ends of all animals. Loteria Grill brought out a second taco, Los Tres Cochinitos (The Three Little Pigs) again, piled high with bacon, carnitas, and chicharron, with a salsa Morita -- three ways to fry pork on a taco, what's not to love?

Loteria Grill: Los Tres Cochinitos

Loteria Grill: Birria Taco

Ceviche Project: Tuna Ceviche

Javier Plascencia/ Erizo: Tijuana Surf & Turf

Our stomachs now protruding with "The Taste of Mexico," we waddle to the other side of the map where we are amazed at the amount of food still waiting to be consumed. Our first stop, Luckdish Curry, where we sample the Chicken Curry with garbanzo beans over basmati rice. The chicken curry has a mild heat but is full of Indian flavor. Fred 62, a favorite of any drunkard wanting to sober up quickly, brings us the taste of America in a fried ball, Smoked Pork Belly Mac N' Cheese ball to be specific. Mama Musubi reintroduced me to musubis, a popular Hawaiian dish, and I am loving it. Mama's Musubi's Miso Chicken & Mama's Special Musubi, feel more like rice balls than pressed musubis -- regardless, delicious. Dog Haus Dogs' "The Reuben Dog" pastrami sausage with a Gruyere cheese sauce, haus slaw, Russian dressing, all overflowing in a grilled King's Hawaiian bun.

Mama Musubi: Mama's Special Musubi

Dog Haus Dogs' "The Reuben Dog" 

Time for dessert. The Ice Cream Social was a perfect treat to cool us from the summer heat. ICDC's smoked vanilla buttermilk glazed doughnuts are more addictive than Krispy Kreme. Where Krispy Kreme melts in your mouth on contact, ICDC's doughnuts not only melt, but leave an intense flavor that is not overly sweetened in your mouth. Currywurst created an impromptu dessert as their supplies were running low, Nutella Grilled Cheese, need I say more? A Nutella French toast, banana, and powder sugar to top, I was glad to have gotten one of the few served. Finally, Manhattan Beach Creamery unleashes its Cream'wiches. Sold. Manhattan Beach Creamery ice cream -- fantastic. Fresh baked cookies baked by Manhattan Beach Creamery -- Fantastic. Combine the two and create a fantastic dessert to sell in your local market.

LA Street Food Fest brought forward a great food experience showcasing the pure diversity Los Angeles has to offer Angelenoes and all traveling foodies. I am excited to see what menus these vendors have to offer their patrons this year. Whatever it is, I know I'll be in line to check it out.       

Photos by: Nina Semaun

Original post can be seen at: http://la.tasteterminal.com/2013/07/08/la-street-food-fest-2/

Cici's Cafe

18912 Ventura Blvd.
Tarzana, Ca. 91356
818.881.6704
$$($10-$20)

Some people consider breakfast to be the most important meal of the day. Let's be real -- Breakfast is, hands down, the best meal of the day. Whether that breakfast consist of: a medium rare steak, over easy eggs, bacon, and potatoes; Or, fluffy red velvet pancakes, topped with chocolate shavings, whipped cream, maple syrup, and strawberries; or a piece of fried chicken sitting on top of a tall stack of buttered-up waffles, all drowned in maple syrup. Breakfast may be the most "important" meal of the day, but, I prefer it when it's the most decadent.

Cici's menu is ridiculous. Their menu is as exhausting as reading "The Odyssey." I called upon the Gods to come to a decision... meaning, I dropped a pencil and picked whatever it landed next to -- very scientific.

Hash Benedict [$13.25]
Corn Beef Hash + 2 Poached Eggs + English Muffin + Hollandaise Sauce + Potatoes (side)

Let me first say, the picture above does not give justice to how big this plate is; how Cici's Cafe is able to turn a profit off of their insane portions is beyond me. Their dishes can easily serve two people -- I, on the other hand, am a fat ass and have no limitations or dignity to prevent myself from shoveling excessive amounts of food into my mouth. Cutting into the delicate poached egg, I am overjoyed to bear witness as the yolk and Hollandaise sauce join forces and engulf the corn-beef and English muffin. The Hollandaise sauce is rich and buttery and plays nicely with the saltiness of the tender corn-beef. This is a heavy breakfast, don't plan anything for the remainder of your day.

Cici's Cafe has variety... maybe a little too much variety. I suggest bringing a group of friends so you can pick off their plates. The food is decadent and not for those who are incredibly health conscious. Also, if you are on a budget, don't fret, an order is sufficient for two -- you'll just have to take your time in coming to a decision on what you will be ordering  -- I suggest bringing a pencil. Definitely, go to Cici's Cafe to get fat.

Tender Greens

201 Arizona Ave.
Santa Monica, CA. 90401
310.587.2777
http://www.TenderGreens.com/
$$($10-$20)

Driving to Santa Monica's Farmers Market on Saturdays always feels like surviving one round of Death Race. What's worse is -- I am always starving when I get there. I can never decide between Nectarines at $3.00/ lb., Strawberries at $13.00/ pint, or a small herb garden for $250.00. Good thing dogs aren't allowed and I was kicked out before depleting my bank account on delicious strawberries and herb gardens.

Just on the other side of the "No Dogs Allowed" sign, I spotted a line of people extending from a doorway. Above them it read: "Tender Greens." I had to see what all the hub-bub was about. Waiting in line is something I hate, but I guess that means the food is good -- right? The yoga class ahead of me is quickly taken care of, either these people knew what they wanted or their service is incredibly efficient, either way, I was at the front fumbling my order in no time at all. Inside I was immediately reminded of the Subway, Chipotle, Qdoba, set-up, just  a longer assembly line and happier employees. 

Mint Lemonade [$3]
Housemade Lemonade + Fresh Mint

 Nothing really settles you in on a hot day in Santa Monica like a tall glass of ice cold lemonade. The lemonade is made in-house and has a generous helping of macerated mint floating about. The drink is lightly sweetened and very refreshing, all it's missing is some vodka.     

Half Order: Rainbow Carrots [$3]
Half Order: Asparagus [$3]
Roasted Rainbow Carrots + Roasted Asparagus

Simple Roasted Asparagus and Rainbow Carrots. Veggies are perfectly firm and lightly salted. A perfect side.

Backyard Marinated Steak Sandwich [$11]Flank Steak[M. Rare] + Ciabatta + Roasted Peppers + Aioli + Kale Salad 

The Backyard Marinated Steak Sandwich is a hefty serving of steak on a ciabatta, with a light spread of sweet roasted peppers and aioli. Because Tender Greens is an assembly-line style fast food restaurant, all meats are pre-cooked and ready to be cut-up then served. The steak, is more medium than rare and retains a bit of chewiness. Though slightly chewy, the steak is still mighty tasty. The roasted peppers add a sweetness to the sandwich but doesn't detract from the steak. The ciabatta is toasted and absorbs the juices from the meat, roasted peppers, and aioli, successfully integrating and delivering these flavors.      

Tender Greens is an assembly line of fresh ingredients, everything is made to order -- kinda like Subway. Unlike Subway, Tenger Greens provides a delicious final product that is well worth the price. Tender Greens is definitely a place where you'd want to get fat.

Leo & Lily

22420 Ventura Blvd.

Woodland Hills, Ca. 91364

818.222.6622

http://www.leonlily.com/

$$($10-$20)

Leo & Lily is an eatery off of Ventura catering to those who want something "hearty, filling, healthy, and affordable." Though off of Ventura and the 101, porch side dining is free of the sounds of traffic. Unfortunately, Leo & Lily have terrible taste in music, and should seriously consider turning the generic music off and accept the sound of silence. The menu is short making ordering simple. Right off the bat I saw something that interested me without question.     

Turkey Meatloaf Panini [$9.95]
Turkey Meatloaf + Whole Grain Mustard + Ciabatta

Why do I insist on playing Russian Roulette? Why? I am well aware of my abysmal track record for scoring the rare satisfying meatloaf sandwich. Call me Ahab, when I see "meatloaf" I am looking at my White Whale. Leo & Lily make the attempt, but they fall short. 

It's definition time. Panini is derived from the Italian "panino" which refers to any sandwich made from bread that isn't "sliced-bread." Traditionally speaking, we are looking at ciabatta, rosetta, or baguettes. "Panino's" are NOT toasted or pressed. The United States, United Kingdom, & Canada, define "Panini's" as pressed and toasted sandwiches. Considering this sandwich has no grill marks and shows no signs of being pressed, it's obviously the former, meaning Leo & Lily should rename their sandwich.

Let's talk bread. Ciabatta is thick and crusty. I like ciabatta. Sliced vertically, brushed with some herbed butter, and pressed, I can definitely use it for a panini. Cut horizontally, that's a lot of bread, even if pressed. 

If you have read any of my other entries you know how I feel about any condiment placed on the side of my plate -- they're worthless and tend to over-power the original experience of any food it's served with. If the condiment is beneficial toward the enjoyment of the meal, it would be part of its original construction. Get the condiments off the table.

Now, the star, Moby Dick. I was unimpressed looking at the sandwich put infront of me. I should have known, it's a turkey meatloaf, not exactly a bird known for its fat content. Biting into the Panino I tasted an overabundance of whole-grain mustard (a little bit goes a long way -- something to take into consideration for next time) and a great deal of breadiness. Between the ciabatta and mustard, the taste of meatloaf escaped me. I picked out one of the two slices. The meatloaf felt like pressed firm tofu and tasted bland, almost synthetic.         

Portobello Fries [$5.95]
Deep Fried Portobello Mushroom Slices

I had a great experience with Portobello Fries at King's Row and thought I would give it another go... not as satisfying this time around. Leo & Lily uses a panko dredge, assuming these fries are housemade and not mass produced, flash frozen, and then sold in the freezer section of your local mega mart. Biting into the fry, the shell falls apart without even a satisfying crunch. The mushroom is sliced, dredged, and deep fried, unfortunately nothing shields the mushroom from absorbing the oils it was fried in; resulting in soggy oily slices of portobello mushrooms incased in thick breading. I guess that's why you are given a heaping side of garlic aioli.

Leo & Lily, as they claim, serve food that can be construed as "hearty, filling, healthy, and affordable." Unfortunately the food is not something I would recommend getting fat with. 

Kings Row: Gastropub

20 E. Colorado Blvd.

Pasadena, Ca. 91105

626.793.3010

http://www.kingsrowpub.com/

$$($10-$20)

What is a "gastropub?" Originally, pubs in the UK were places where you could drink, but in terms of food you'd only be getting bread, cheese and chutney, cooking is for your wife. Considering our new obsession with being fat, pubs understand that people want something to eat while getting drunk on tasty beverages... Let's be honest, a gastropub is a pub where you are paying a premium for eating and drinking at a place pretentiously self-titled and self-aware. 

Next on the list of words I feel need to be defined is "cicerone." A cicerone is a certified expert on beer, they are trained and tested on storage, styles, cultures, flavors, brewing ingredients and processes, and pairings with foods. Something else you are paying a premium for. 

Now that we can put the dictionary away let's talk about Kings Row. Kings Row is a great place for a date. The ambience is intimate, comfortable and romantic. You order at the bar and soon after food comes out to you. I really enjoyed that the bar tender was knowledgable about the menu and the drinks. But what I loved was the fact that the bar tender wasn't dicking around; if you didn't have any questions or didn't look ready she continued attending to people who had questions or knew what they wanted and would get to you once you were ready to say something other than "uhm."Also, the drinks are wonderfully strong and not watered down.

Bubble & Squeak [$11]
smoked salmon + fingerling potatoes + asparagus + créme fraiche + dill + fried egg

 The Bubble & Squeak was served to us on a hot skillet. The dill flavor is very prominent and pairs nicely with the smoked salmon. The créme fraiche is incredibly rich and filling and starts to over power you once you are nearing the bottom of the skillet. There are pieces of asparagus scattered with the potatoes, but, aside for, maybe color, they don't bring anything extra to the dish. The "bubble" is the fried egg(sunny-side-up) which is perfect but there is no squeak, unless Salmons squeak... do they?

Crispy Portobello Fries [$9]
house-battered portobello mushrooms + pesto aioli

The crispy portobello fries were hands down my favorite dish on the table. The pesto aioli was... I just don't like condiments, I can't understand why I need to alter the flavors of a dish with an overpowering condiment -- but, considering they are placed on the side, they aren't required to enjoy the dish. I tried the aioli, and yes, as I suspected, it completely overpowered the fries.

Portobello fries were lightly battered, firm, and slightly crispy. The meatiness of the portobello mushroom fries were not compromised by the oils in which they were fried. This is something I would definitely come back for.

Proper Fish N' Chips [$14]
IPA beer-battered fresh alaskan cod + kennebec french fries + house tartar

I have never had a "proper fish n' chips." Either the chips are unimpressive or the fish -- in this case it was the former. Looking at the short bucket before us I made note of the large pieces of (Alaskan cod) and their seemingly crisp exterior sitting on french fries. On the side we have ketchup, house tartar sauce, and half a lemon. Immediately I drained each quarter of lemon equally on both pieces of fried cod.

Cutting into the cod, I noticed the batter wasn't crisp and the fish easily broke apart. The fish is fresh and perfectly cooked, there is no fishy after taste or oily flavor in the least. The fries on the other hand were saturated in oil and are very lackluster in comparison to the portobello fries.    

Kings Row: Gastropub -- "A Noted House For Fine Food & Ales." If the titles don't give it away, I am sure the cicerones will give you that pretentious hipster vibe. Kings Row has a fantastic ambience for hanging out with friends or going on a date. It's pub food done up nicely and can easily be shared as tapas. It's an interesting place with plenty of variety, I would recommend gathering your friends for some drinks and getting fat here.