Zippy's

950 Kamokila Blvd.

Kapolei, Hi. 96707

808.674.1773

$($5-$10)

Hawaii has been much too active for me. Lounging on the beach. Relaxing at the beach. Laying on the beach... It's much too exhausting if you ask me. Time to get a small bite to eat before I return to my comatose state.

Spam Musubi [$1.55]
Spam + Rice + Soy Sauce + Nori

How many different ways can Hawaiian's prepare their beloved canned meat, Spam. Spam Sushi, otherwise known as musubis, is a very profane food. A fried piece of Spam sits on a block of rice soaked with residual Spam juices and soy sauce, all wrapped neatly with a strip of nori. Nothing fancy here, in fact, the musubi is served tightly wrapped in plastic wrap and handed to me -- it's a snack, nothing wrong with that.

A musubi is not sushi, it's actually the anti-sushi. Heavy and fried rather than light and fresh. Still, I am ashamed to say, despite my best judgement: "this is delicious."  

Loco Moco [$10.25]
2 Eggs + Hamburger Steak + Rice + Brown Gravy

From one bad decision to the next, here comes the famous Loco Moco. A heaping helping of rice, topped by a hamburger patty, smothered in a thick, sodium enriched, heart stopping, brown gravy, and topped by 2 over-easy eggs. The serving is generous and can easily feed two. The eggs are perfectly fried, crisp around the edges with absolutely runny yolks. The hamburger is well-done but not dry or burnt. My first mouthful is a hot mess of yolk, gravy, egg, hamburger, and rice. Silence. This is not steak and eggs nor is this a re-imagined breakfast burger. At first, I was confused. I was originally given, what looked to be a T.V. dinner microwaved somewhere in the back. Now, I am asking myself: "Why do I like this abomination and why do I want to order another one?"

You don’t leave Zippy’s ready to run a marathon. You leave Zippy’s, ashamed of what you’ve just put your body through. Looking for the nearest bed to crawl into and sleep the shame away, I am glad Zippy’s is only in Hawaii; otherwise, these bad decisions may just occur more frequently leading me to getting fat.